Prior to college I never cried. Never. I guess I had detached myself emotionally from the world so that I wouldn't get hurt. It was tough growing up. I moved every two years, about, and so had to make friends and leave them before ever really growing close to them. So why bother feeling anything at all? (This wasn't intentional, by the way. It kinda just happened.)
Anyway, once I hit senior year in high school, I started emotionally investing myself in the world again because I had developed real friendships and I had begun to understand myself much more than before.
As soon as college hit, I started crying about everything! I don't really understand why, but if a book or movie is exceptionally inspirational, or someone says or does something particularly hurtful, I'll cry (not in front of them, of course). Recently, I went to see Toy Story 3. Having grown up watching Toy Storys 1 and 2, Toy Story 3 hit me hard. Pixar planned this movie well. The generation who grew up with Andy and Woody and Buzz is now sitting in theaters watching Andy go to college. Just like us. At the end of the movie, Andy makes the tough decision to part with all of his childhood playthings, passing them on to a little girl nearby. Watching this step into the grown-up life made me bawl. Hardcore. Tears were streaming from everyone in my generation in the theater.
Less than two days later, I read a moderately inspirational article on how to treat others. The third one, "Remember Those Who Serve," and the final one, "Giving When it Counts," almost made me cry. I had to force myself to stop to protect my pride.
What this has taught me is that children make me cry. Both of the aforementioned lessons on how to treat others involved children who did things purely and genuinely for no other reason than the kindness of their hearts.
This isn't to say I only cry for children (I cried during Prayers for Bobby, Brokeback Mountain, and Miracle. I also cried while reading Where the Red Fern Grows). It's just... I connect especially well to children.
What do you think? What makes you cry?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Special
Children are the most amazing creatures on the planet in my opinion. From birth they are innocent and pure. Until they become tainted by reality, they bear the most inquisitive eyes and adorable demeanor. It is an incredible thing to watch a child grow from baby to toddler to child to adolescent and beyond.
They are special in every way possible.
I know that if ever I am fortunate enough to be a dad I will spoil my child to no end because there is no one I could ever love more.
I do have a point to make, no worries. My recent post entitled ""Your Baby Can Read"" criticized the use of any product that takes time away from your child, who deserves nothing less than your full attention every hour of the day (though obviously this isn't always possible). I now must criticize America in general.
While this doesn't apply to every single parent in the country, it does apply to a great many.
How many of you played a sport when you were younger? Those in generations before mine remember a time when you got a trophy and a pizza party if you won and you went home if you lost. Those in my generation will recall that trophies were handed out to every child on every time regardless of how well the child did or how well the team did. Why is this? Why do children who failed at their jobs get trophies and congratulations and parties and whatnot? I was on a soccer team for one season. The team was awful as a whole. I am not sports-minded at all, so I certainly didn't contribute. We lost every game but one with zero points to our name. The one we didn't lose we tied 0-0. At the end of the season I was rather disappointed in myself and my team, but being a realist I said c'est la vie and told myself I'd work harder next time. Despite our many consecutive losses, we all got engraved trophies to take home. Even then I asked why we were getting trophies.
It doesn't make sense to reward failure. I'm not saying to give children a hard time if they don't do well with something, but don't baby them either! They deserve the respect of knowing what's going on in reality. As much as I love the idea of child-innocence and the preservation of youth, I hate the fact that parents across the country are setting their children up to fail in the future. By giving them a prize for losing and assuring them that everyone is amazing in their own way, you demean them and create an unfortunate mentality that it's ok to fail because you'll get a prize anyway.
Yes, it is okay to fail. But that should motivate you to do better the next time, not provide you with the same rewards as succeeding. Please, shower your children with all the love and affection they desire. Give them your heart and soul. Make them feel how much you care and how special they really are to you. But don't create in them an everyone's-a-winner mentality because that will just lead to hardship later on in life.
They are special in every way possible.
I know that if ever I am fortunate enough to be a dad I will spoil my child to no end because there is no one I could ever love more.
I do have a point to make, no worries. My recent post entitled ""Your Baby Can Read"" criticized the use of any product that takes time away from your child, who deserves nothing less than your full attention every hour of the day (though obviously this isn't always possible). I now must criticize America in general.
While this doesn't apply to every single parent in the country, it does apply to a great many.
How many of you played a sport when you were younger? Those in generations before mine remember a time when you got a trophy and a pizza party if you won and you went home if you lost. Those in my generation will recall that trophies were handed out to every child on every time regardless of how well the child did or how well the team did. Why is this? Why do children who failed at their jobs get trophies and congratulations and parties and whatnot? I was on a soccer team for one season. The team was awful as a whole. I am not sports-minded at all, so I certainly didn't contribute. We lost every game but one with zero points to our name. The one we didn't lose we tied 0-0. At the end of the season I was rather disappointed in myself and my team, but being a realist I said c'est la vie and told myself I'd work harder next time. Despite our many consecutive losses, we all got engraved trophies to take home. Even then I asked why we were getting trophies.
It doesn't make sense to reward failure. I'm not saying to give children a hard time if they don't do well with something, but don't baby them either! They deserve the respect of knowing what's going on in reality. As much as I love the idea of child-innocence and the preservation of youth, I hate the fact that parents across the country are setting their children up to fail in the future. By giving them a prize for losing and assuring them that everyone is amazing in their own way, you demean them and create an unfortunate mentality that it's ok to fail because you'll get a prize anyway.
Yes, it is okay to fail. But that should motivate you to do better the next time, not provide you with the same rewards as succeeding. Please, shower your children with all the love and affection they desire. Give them your heart and soul. Make them feel how much you care and how special they really are to you. But don't create in them an everyone's-a-winner mentality because that will just lead to hardship later on in life.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
"Your Baby Can Read"
On a recent drive to work, I was listening to a pop station on the radio. During a commercial brake, an ad for a product called "Your Baby Can Read" was played. At first, the product seemed useful—teaching your child to read young so they develop the skill quickly and early so they progress through school in the same manner. As the commercial progressed though I became steadily more appalled and ended up being rather sad.
What hit me the most in this ad was the testimonial where a mother was asked "did you have to do anything?" and she responded, "no! I didn't have to do a thing!" As if parents needed another thing to separate them from their children. My mind doesn't grasp the concept of neglect. Perhaps "neglect" is to strong a word... but in a way it isn't. I don't understand parents who don't give their children attention. I don't understand how you can bring a child into the world and NOT give it every waking moment of your attention. Though I don't readily admit to liking kids (because I don't really want to end up babysitting...), every time I see a child my heart flutters and I am happy. Watching a child learn is, to me, one of the most amazing things you can ever see. As it relates to learning to read, watching a machine teach a child to read seems like a travesty.
On a more personal note, I realize and have accepted the fact that I will probably never have natural blood-related children. It's even a stretch to hope to ever have children at all. This is saddening all in its own. But then, the fact that so many parents have children and don't treat them the way they should or give them the attention they deserve just makes it worse.
Another commercial I heard a few years ago advertised a book of 60 second bedtime stories. What? What kind of parent can only spare 60 seconds of their precious night time to read to their child? Why read at all?
I just felt I should share my feelings on this type of product. In my opinion, anything that uses less time with your child as a way to sell itself is sick and wrong. As I said earlier: I can't imagine ever having a child and not giving it every ounce of my love and attention. If you want to teach your child to read, read to them. Anything and everything. Just read.
What hit me the most in this ad was the testimonial where a mother was asked "did you have to do anything?" and she responded, "no! I didn't have to do a thing!" As if parents needed another thing to separate them from their children. My mind doesn't grasp the concept of neglect. Perhaps "neglect" is to strong a word... but in a way it isn't. I don't understand parents who don't give their children attention. I don't understand how you can bring a child into the world and NOT give it every waking moment of your attention. Though I don't readily admit to liking kids (because I don't really want to end up babysitting...), every time I see a child my heart flutters and I am happy. Watching a child learn is, to me, one of the most amazing things you can ever see. As it relates to learning to read, watching a machine teach a child to read seems like a travesty.
On a more personal note, I realize and have accepted the fact that I will probably never have natural blood-related children. It's even a stretch to hope to ever have children at all. This is saddening all in its own. But then, the fact that so many parents have children and don't treat them the way they should or give them the attention they deserve just makes it worse.
Another commercial I heard a few years ago advertised a book of 60 second bedtime stories. What? What kind of parent can only spare 60 seconds of their precious night time to read to their child? Why read at all?
I just felt I should share my feelings on this type of product. In my opinion, anything that uses less time with your child as a way to sell itself is sick and wrong. As I said earlier: I can't imagine ever having a child and not giving it every ounce of my love and attention. If you want to teach your child to read, read to them. Anything and everything. Just read.
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